I am a 90s girl and to this day still maintain that Mellon Collie is one of the best alternative albums ever released and that Tonight, Tonight is one of the best music videos ever created. The Pumpkins still have great replay value, though I will admit that “The Perfect Drug” and “Closer to God” are as far as I go for…

Craig Counsel: you are a puppet whose strings have gotten tangled, and are being lifted up by your bat to be tossed into the garbage.

oh HECK i would eat that

As a Zamboni driver (not professionally, just as a volunteer for the local youth association) and a homeowner who must mow a lawn I can tell you for certain that making that perfect final pass with the Zam is 10 times more satisfying than any final lawn mower pass ever.

Greg, look at me. Ignore everything the crazy person with the terrible ham takes just said. As far as I’m concerned, your marriage was never valid because it was based on LIES. She told you she was thrifty and then gives away a lifetime of free shit because it’s not very expensive to replace? Free is even less…

What the fuck kind of take is that ham talk? Ham is fucking amazing and stands on its own far better than turkey which requires gravy to be made palatable. A spiral cut ham or a salty Smithfield ham makes life worth living when surrounded by snot-nosed niblings or Trump-humping uncles.

“I find it’s hard, it’s hard to find. oh well, whatever, nevermind”

And that’s how Drew ended up with a size medium Paula Abdul tshirt.

I don’t mind the raw toilet seat, but God forbid if I sit down and that seat is still warm from an unknown strangers butt-heat.

You should definitely watch the show in whatever way works best for you! I’m all for that. But, if it helps, I’m reviewing the new season for The A.V. Club and I don’t plan on overlooking its flaws because of the gender of its lead, which actually isn’t something I’m hugely invested in one way or the other.

As always, Douglas Adams knew best:

“Matt” is really just Larry David, right?

Former Big Ten defensive back here (graduated w/in the past 5 years, not some old fart who’s mad that footbaw isn’t played the same anymore) - I really like this rule change by the NFL & I hope the NCAA adopts the same. We all understand that football is an inherently violent & dangerous game, but this move should at…

And the kicker here is that none of these sanctimonious assholes were bothered enough to say anything about a human being calling someone a retard. Fuck.All.Of.them.

I mean, not that my model is superior (I’ll torch a bridge whenever, if someone’s being shitty and won’t own up to it - fuggit, I can swim), but...yeah, any gal who had an asshole friend like that, and who decided that he should be *my* problem, would be hitting the bricks in short fucking order.

“Is it worth asking A why she puts up with George’s behavior or why she lets him try to run off her boyfriends? Sure. Once.”

His “no list” says more about his outlook on life and general personality than the contents of it.

I want to watch an NFL game but with BBC Cricket announcers.

It’s just close-minded. I get everyone has things they’re not interested in, but if someone is perfect in every single way and you each adore each other... but they happen to have a cat that just sleeps all day out of the way and never needs anything from you... You’re willing to throw the rest away because of that?…

My 9-year old calls tortilla chips “Waiting Chips.”