@Anonymoose: Stinking pile of dooey licking dog fritters!

@Bawb3: Yeah I know, who has wrists nowadays?

@란: It was a dreamcast.

Do the kids at least get to keep them? It's not like the school is paying for them.

@NapmasterC: @cubist_zirconia: @danielj: @spline9: OK GUYS I GET IT! I JUST SKIMMED THE ARTICLE OKAY?! YOU CAN STOP SAYING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!

Wait, why did the gym employee get fired? How could Verizon fire some random person from his job? Was it Verizon's gym?

@tedknaz: Yep, also Netflix on Boxee is just about worthless.

@NorwoodIsMyHero: Hey! You're a #whitenoiser too!

Hey guys, do you know if there's a way to freeze a Windows program whenever it goes into the background?

That's what happens when women fart.

Dear Sega,

@StoneColdCrab: Why's it gotta be men? Why wouldn't a woman try to make money off of this? I thought Jezebel was supposed to be above sexism.

I hope this won't hurt user-agent spoofing.

AWESOME. I would totally do that to my kids if they existed. That's legal right? I mean, how else am I supposed to tell my children apart from all the others? Apart from the inherited beauty, of course.

@queencatriona: Girls are stupid. Walk up to him, hand him a freshly baked pie, and say "I want your bod." He'll get the idea.

Guys, do me a favor! Vote for # 3 like a million times! [pocketnow.com]

@CarbonFalcon: Yep. We're at war with the other finalists. This time, though, I'm not limiting the members of #whitenoisearmy to just #whitenoise.

@conman577: He's the cool kind of creepy uncle! The one that takes you out for ice cream!!

ATTENTION ALL KOTAKUITES!

@EdificeComplex: It was an honor to lead my troops against you in the Great Giz War. You were a mighty adversary.