TBH its still better than the time DR Pepper did that whole “Not for women” campaign. Solidifying it as the drink of choice for adult men who call their den a "man cave"

And after a year, you’re the guy who fought an ostrich for a year.
A horrific, terrifying year.

The only people who should be judged are steak well-done people. They are the worse. While I don’t quite get the appeal of rare, it’s less offensive than well done. People who order steak well done should simply be given an old shoe to eat and save the beef for people who appreciate it.

That’s because no one who uses Excel has an important job.
I use excel every day. Also...notice what I’m doing right now.

Things that hit me like a truck in terms of emotions:

During my job interview, my boss asked me if I had experience using Excel. I told him that I excelled in it and got a little chuckle out of him. I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing on Excel, but no one has noticed for 8 years.

Saw this on FB yesterday.

Excuse me. But beauty pageant contestants are famous for reacting to external judgments of their worth the way normal people do.

I love how you always pretend sexism isn’t real. It’s so charming in a gross, extraordinarily stupid way.

Dude, chill.

So, a fan has a nice long chat with a friendly international pop star, wants a selfie and the pop star declines because he’s sick, so the fan waits until he’s asleep and then takes a picture and posts it on social media with a gushing commentary? Wow. That is a really shitty thing to do. #thedownsideoffame

The lawyers also point out that the practice of selecting a jury that requires “death qualification” cannot be controlled for prejudice.

Not only are they not wrong, I hope they succeed in outlawing the death penalty because it’ll wring some amount of good out of this white supremacist shithead’s existence.

Or you can cut out the middle man, move past that charade and just ask the soon-to-be-wife yourself.

But does she really need 9 rings?

And most importantly, you get to be self righteous in comment threads about engagement rings. And who can put a price on that?

I wish I lived where you do.

You’re going to (hopefully) spend the rest of your life with this person. Have a conversation with them like a goddamn adult and get her exactly what she wants with an agreed upon budget.

I'd like to be the devil's advocate, but these Satanists know what they're doing.