The people of DC deserve this level of torment. Stras will pitch like shit today and yet another season will flush away. Couldn’t happen to a shittier district full of self-important assholes. Bye Nats fans, you suck.

I’m delighted they blew it. Fuck soccer and its smug fans. May its always-promised, never-delivered surge popularity never come.

It’s cute how people willingly purchase and bring home these internet-connected always-on microphones, made by two of the planet’s most obsessive data scrapers, and then are concerned about privacy.

Got two copies of this https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1942645236/ref=ya_st_dp_summary because my family is insane and needs at least that many

Got two copies of this https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1942645236/ref=ya_st_dp_summary because my family is insane…

William Turdton, you’re a piece of fucking shit. Enjoy your shitty life as a minimum wage blogger — you’ll never delight as many people as this dude did in 24 hours.

Yahoo died the day Pipes died. They can keep my email address and all the spam I direct to it.

“I don’t know how to use something, therefore it is useless to everyone and sucks.”

I doubt you’d know how anyway.

Yeah, I hate it when my operating system has matured and refined itself. I want new bullshit just for the sake of it!

These hipsters must like the product they're paying for to buy it so often. Weird how that works! If only they knew about the Moto X Desire OnePlus 7 9 10 Edge A8. Then they'd see the light!

Every company thinks their products are “all that.” We call this marketing. It’s a thing!

Knew this would be here. You neckbeards are so predictable.  

Again, that’s cool. I don’t need additional space or slow SD cards or that jug of cheese balls they sell at the Aldis where you got your orgasmic SD card. I prefer iOS’s software library and will pay a premium for it because I make that money back with the work I do and the phone’s resale value is high as well.

Oh, this sounds awful! Do we do that? Might you name some examples?

That’s cool. 9 years later and moving apps to an SD card is still the thing that defines “choice” versus “prisoner” even though I'm using less than half the space on my phone, but whatever makes you happy. I have no desire to throw your phone of choice into the sea and no idea why you Android folks so constantly need…

You know, for a guy who recently made a crack about me having too much free time.... here you are, still going!

Mmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

A-ha, but you corrected your tragic misspelling! So it worked!

*witty.