And then there’s all the cool things our slaves built:

Wait a second, there’s no fucking monorail?

Sepp Blatter and the Goblet of Slavery

“Liability tank tops are $5.99!”

I don’t see hideous polo anywhere so you can probably scratch Drew off as a suspect.

This is my favorite thing in sports.

Actually, Drew, there’s no demonstrable evidence that Goodell is a “shit-eating moron”. At most, you could make the claim that it is “more probable than not” that he...

I can’t tell you how devastated the Patriots organization must be now that you refuse to recognize their Super Bowl wins.

Glass houses, all of ‘em. And nobody owns up to any of it until they have to, which is usually never.

Jon Stewart: “Tommy...you cheating fucker.”

Trust me. Tommy will never get into Cooperstown.

#bestidiotsonthefieldinbaseball

True equality will only be attained when a gay man musters up the courage to propose to his partner at a baseball game. At that point, they will have become as insufferable as the straights.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON THAT TWO GROWN MEN CAN’T GET DRUNK BECAUSE BUD LIGHT COSTS $10?

To show them they were truly part of the family, several Dodgers fans stabbed them in the parking lot after the game.

Anthony Michael Hall’s douchey fratboy son?

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE DRILLS SOMEBODY IN THE STOMACH WHEN HE GETS EXCITED?!