Yeah but if EVERYONE was a good guy with a gun, it’d work out. Babies, abused wives — fucking everyone! Just think of the paradise we would be living in!!

Incels are such wonderful people.

Do trains travel at 560 MPH in a straight line without making any stops? No? Ah, then I’ll continue flying in airplanes. There is just nothing inconvenient about that. Ya know what’s inconvenient? Taking half a friggin year to reach my destination.

OK kids, see the manager? See how he looks like he’s having the worst day of his life? Be like him.

Violence committed because of a political motive... hmmm, pretty sure there’s a word for that.. what was it? I forgot. I was about to say it, then I saw his white skin and remembered that he’s just “troubled” or “crazy” instead.

Hi, white manchild baby here. I personally am very much looking forward to killing white supremacist christian cultists in interesting and exciting ways.

Jail. That’s a good one. Wait... you really think he’ll go to jail...?

How about a fact: Despite all the news about death and suffering, as a human being on Earth in 2017, you and any children you have are the least likely to be the victims of violence than at any other point in human history. World population has exponentially boomed while large-scale wars and violence have become a…

Cell phone in the lap. Case closed, boys.

From the border with Kansas up until you get to the front range (Denver, Co Springs, Ft Collins): midwest. From the front range to the west: rocky mountains. Totally different culture. Eastern Coloarado is flat and boring, just like Kansas. In fact, some of the far-flung eastern suburbs of Denver are called…

Riyadh has really nice golf courses. It’s a rich country — I guarantee you Trump will go golfing at least once on this trip.

We have a system of checks and balances in this country — each branch checks the power of the others. For the executive branch (The president and his subordinates), the check is congress. Our congress is fully in cahoots with this insanity, meaning our check is broken. Our government is completely out of sync with…

Jesus christ dude, it’s like you made an algorithm and made it randomly construct sentences from Sean Hannity’s 100 most spoken words. Get the fuck outta here with that amoral bullshit. Foxnews.com beckons, shitlord.

What the fuck? What are the chances! A fellow Banks fan and an Ark player! You might just be! Were you by chance born under the light of blood moon on the plains of Africa like me?!

Great. Her stupid actions are surely gracing the headlines of every single right-wing blog on the internet right now, further reinforcing conservatives’ staggeringly invincible victim complex.

Dude, if you “explain” something in a way that defends something, you’re defending it. But yeah, we’re done.

First off, if I paid 5 million dollars per ticket those attendants’ salaries wouldn’t increase one iota. So please, do not try to blame people not wanting to spend 2000 dollars to get stuffed into a tiny seat and treated like shit.

Why do they need training not to be shitty people? This is like the same crappy argument that cops need “training” to not execute black children for no reason. Bullshit, I say. Watching a powerpoint presentation and signing a form is not going to make them start giving a shit.

Pilots on planes that do not have lavs always travel with “piddle packs”. It’s a bag filled with a gel that hardens the urine and closes off so there’s no odor. They cost like 2 bucks each and have female and male attachments. Why the fuck don’t the carriers have a box of them on board? Ah, it’s because they don’t…

Low expectations are a hell of a thing. Most people who fly on domestic carriers like United have never had the pleasure of flying on many of the wonderful foreign airlines - my favorites being Emirates (propped up by a brutal slave-state, I know, but god damn they have a nice airline) and Thai.