Eh… not really. Quarantine is better than it has any right to be because of Carpenter (and Jay Hernandez, he's great in his brief appearances) but the Spanish version is better in almost every other way (that ending!)

In fairness it's a shit-awful ending. (And I know it's almost just like the ending of [REC], which is amazing, but it differs in two very important ways that still piss me off.)

Parks and Rec completely abandons pretending it's a documentary after the first season, though. Chris Pratt's acknowledgment of the camera crew in the season 1 finale is the last time anyone notices them. They were obviously just trying to recapture the magic of the office when they started but the show grew and…

The only difference is Romero randomly threw in high-comic moments that completely killed the momentum of the movie. I do appreciate that opening monologue being essentially "Yeah, this is found footage but I'm editing it and putting a score. Why you ask? Fuck you, that's why, I'm George A. Romero!"

Sloppy and poorly acted isn't really that jarring for a De Palma movie, I love the man's films but he directs in all-caps.

YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

I thought the family was effective but that may be simply because I saw it like a week after my son was born and I spent the last 40 minutes going "GET THAT FUCKING BABY AWAY FROM EVERYTHING!!!"

Yeah, District 9 is in no way a found footage movie, the documentary angle was just a way to dump a shitload of exposition on the film in a small amount of time and it worked amazingly. Unfortunately that didn't work as well in Chappie.

Reindeer Games didn't break you of that? And if you haven't seen Reindeer Games, watch it, it'll probably break you of that.

I feel like you could cut about 45 minutes out of Dances With Wolves and it would be a great movie. Robin Hood Prince of Thieves is irredeemable.

There's a bit in the remake/meta-sequel to The Town That Dreaded Sundown where Charles Pierce's "son" (actually the burnface guy from American Horror Story) says that his father could've been the next Hitchcock but he wanted to tell the people's story, not Hollywood's. Having seen the original and The Evictors the…

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE LAST BROADCAST

I love Exists. My reviewer's mind is able to poke so many holes in it, its characters are pieces of shit, and it's honestly pretty dumb but I'll be damned if it's not entertaining as hell and it has a really good-looking and fully practical Sasquatch.

I like the Mothman Prophecy but I culled it from my horror collection ultimately because it never fully commits to its premise. The Indrid Cold stuff is legitimately terrifying (that voice!) and the bridge scene is like Final Destination as made by good filmmakers but the ending is weirdly schmaltzy. I enjoy the…

Except Rage, Rage will never in a million years be made into a movie.

At least I know who this tattoo belongs to now.
http://i.imgur.com/JFouN.jpg

There was also a bit of outsider bias involved too. The boys were all Maryville natives, but she had moved from Albany just down the highway. So a lot of that hometown pride bullshit got swept up in this too, particularly in the shaming of the girl. The other girl, who still lived in Albany, said she got a lot more…

Hey! If you're angry at the government you don't spit in the face of the troops, you hole up in an empty bird sanctuary on government land and threaten to shoot the FBI like a true patriot!

This is the smallest sliver of a silver lining on this cloud, but the house that was burned down was not being lived in at the time. It was a property that her mother owned but was empty. That doesn't fix anything, but at least these people weren't put out of their home in addition to all the other fucked up things…

I feel like there's a whole lot of middle ground between these two points worth exploring.