My mom went to that and sent me the booklet which had all this NHL superheroes crap in it. Six years later, I wonder if that might now be worth the glossy paper it was printed on.

Would they be the same respective heights? Because then it would be great if Danielle lifted heavy objects.

Does Matt know how to roll his eyes?

I was lucky to live in Chapel Hill when their first tour came through the Triangle. I stood next to Eric at the urinals after the show, and he really is quite tall (and I'm 6'2" myself).

Song to Song, and after which I wandered the streets as my voiceover intoned how Terrence Malick could have climbed so far up his own ass as to find a whole other world of philosophical navel-gazing.

As do I. It makes me feel Gorgeous.

But this Iron Fist show isn't for kids. That argument really doesn't apply to entertainment for adults. Plus, I would have liked a Native American Iron Fist (no preference for which peoples).

It's time to hang up the weed and turn off the beer with one last wistful look at all that poonani and sweet-ass cartoons on videocassette. We all have to grow up sometime, to stop being a workaholic and start being a workaresponsibilic.

And it's not even February!

It was my 30th birthday yesterday, and with my parents in town, we saw Get Out and Logan. They loved the former, but of the two, I loved Logan more. Also watched Michael Palin in The Missionary, because it disappeared from Filmstruck after a day.

Michael Bay would have to make it. Who else can film the curvature of a dead woman's breast, frame the subtle nuances of a gun-toting Jamaican, or so capture the anxiety of a large teenager when he is threatened with rape?

Sure, Godot. Some wonderful, magical animal…

Wait, they couldn't eat bacon? Ham? Porkchops?

I would go that far with a beard, but I still need to be employed. But trust me, should I ever retire, I'll just throw out all my razors and let grow what may.

What annoyed me was that the cartoon was bloodless, a common criticism of I&S in these latter days o' Simpsons. When they aren't overlong and struggling to be funny, these new ones just don't capture the gory glee of original Itchy and Scratchy.

Gruber's crappy American accent probably tipped John off. See, Die Hard is a flawless timepiece.

I could see that. Rabbit sounds like an old lady sometimes, but I'm basing that on just having seen that 2011 Winnie the Pooh movie.

Having sex with a duster, that don't make no damn sense. Having sex with a clock, THAT MAKES SENSE!

Yeah, you better run from that egg!

All these stories are from a long time ago. Every character you see is already dead. Happy Tuesday!