The idea of doing an article on guitar solos and not including any metal bands boggles my mind.

Perhaps getting people that like guitar solos to contribute would have been a start.

No one thought to ask him just exactly what his $17 was supposed to entitle him to?

No fair. He should've had to live to see the orange monster he built fall apart.

P. S. I am not a crackpot.

Given the headline, I was sure I was going to see a cast of like six white guys smiling from the bridge of a Federation ship.

Oh, for fuck's sake, you're probably right.

You joke, but I've actually had to use the analogy (which I think I lifted from someone here, actually) that if you step on someone's foot, it doesn't really matter if you did it on purpose or not, the prevailing wish of that person is for you to remove your foot, and then apologize for doing so in the first place.

There are a lot of people in the world who simply believe that if you're not intending to cause offense, you haven't.

Another good point.

You're welcome. My trademark rights are licensed very cheaply. My lawyers will be in touch as soon as they're finished deal with some weird texting-in-a-theater case.

Where in the hell are you still getting a Fangoria magazine from?

Well, there's also the principle involved. Yes, you might be making a bigger distraction, but clearly this person isn't getting the message in the first place and is going to continue being a distraction throughout the film.

They can be different levels of assholes. I.e., dude is a very large, multi-faceted asshole, and she… you know what? This metaphor is going to get unpleasant for everyone very quickly, so I'm just going to stick with the first sentence.

We've also incredibly dropped the bar for what constitutes "emergencies". Used to be deaths, major injuries, and financial implosions. Now "check out this post on Facebook" cuts mustard.

The mob accepts this punishment. Bring out the Boot and the Harsh Looks!

It almost seems like you're saying we should ignore bad behavior because doing so might be momentarily unpleasant.

Hot take: very, very few movies are longer than 3 hours. If you're getting texts that can't wait to be viewed or sent for 3 hours, either you have no impulse control or you're dealing with matters that should be handled in person, or at least on a telephone call in the lobby.

In theory, it gives you something to talk about immediately. Its also a place to make out in relative privacy (via darkness and noise).

I'm pretty sure the article yesterday said he was left without a ride. Implying she picked him up.