I don't know how to ask Jerry Seinfeld why Paul Newman's Volvo battlewagon is the greatest thing ever built. I just don't.

HIS HOLINESS THE HELLA BATTLEWAGON IS NOT PLEASED WITH THE PRICE OF THIS DEATH CRUISER.

HELLA BATTLEWAGON APPROVES

But ranked #1 in everyone's hearts.

But I am. You must not be American. Please search Wikipedia for 'United States of America' and bask in the glory of the greatest nation in the world.

No, that's definitely the American lager on the side of that rocket car.

I fail to see how a picture of the Porsche on fire was necessary, but alright.

STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING LISTS ALREADY

HIS HOLINESS THE HELLA BATTLEWAGON APPROVES OF THE #1 CHOICE, THE GLORIOUS 850 DEATH MACHINE

I wanted to recommend this, but right now it's at 92, so I can't force myself to do it.

I know you from Reddit. I wanted to tell you that the engineering on your sunroof is dope as hell and I'd like to replicate it some day on my own wagon. His Holiness tips his hat.

FROM THE DESK OF HIS HOLINESS, THE HELLA BATTLEWAGON:

This weather does not scare me. It will require more than snow and ice for His Holiness's 240 Battlewagon to stop it's death march towards St. Louis, MO.

How in the fuck is 46 almost 50 when it comes to years?

How in the fuck is 46 almost 50 when it comes to years?

My mom supports this message.

HIS HOLINESS THE HELLA BATTLEWAGON HAS PREPARED A STATEMENT:

Totally true.

WHO DARES CALL OUT THE HELLACIOUS MOOSE POWER OF THE 240 BATTLEWAGON AS A CAR NOT SUITED FOR WINTER TRAVEL

(sound of wood hitting wood)