No apes were robbed in the making of this motion picture.

That was an effect?

NPH: This is worse than that time Seth MacFarlane hosted the Oscars!

The Franco-American Connection

Or The Fugitive!

I don't doubt that you sincerely believe that most people who claim to like The Godfather are lying cowards. But you must understand that saying so isn't likely to prompt a thoughtful defense of the movie.

It depends what you mean by "cwisis."

Fibonaaci Fiberanti sequence Liberace sequins.

A Winged Potato mentioned the sitcom sequence in Natural Born Killers which (whatever's wrong with the rest of the movie) worked for me because it took a comedy template and then filled it with something ugly and grotesque. On the other hand, The Simpsons and BoJack Horseman both did episodes that tried to mine humor…

"It's a parody of comedies that aren't funny!" is always dangerous ground for a comedy.

She has what the French call a certain I-don't-know-what.

I agree, I just think they're similar types in terms of how their talent for comedy translates into action roles. Maybe I'm biased just because it's a movie I've loved since I was a kid, but for me nothing will ever touch Willis in Die Hard. That's my gold standard when it comes to lead performances in action movies.

That is a lot of populist, crowdpleasing dogs from a man who stopped challenging himself intellectually sometimes in the mid 1980s.

Not necessarily. In terms of the actual pleasure I take as a reader I like Elmore Leonard about as much as I like Leo Tolstoy. I don't think they're equally talented.

Yeah, Pratt's similar to Willis, in that there's not much difference between a wisecracking comic persona and a wisecracking action hero persona. Pratt just needed to work his way to the action hero physique.

He must mean Carrie's William Katt.

Star of Mutt Williams and the Defensive Shift of Doom.

Oh, Willie died of dysentery before they even got back to Delhi.

Easy fix: Young Indy steps out, and it's CGI of a young Harrison Ford. Then Shia LaBeouf, horrified that his father has perverted nature and God's plan, hits him in the face with a frying pan. But Indy shoots Shia dead before collapsing. After the plastic surgery, he looks like Chris Pratt.

"Oy vey, I'm Jar Jar Biggs. Can you believe I have to shlep these huge ears around all the time? I feel like such a schlemiel! I'm so neurotic I might as well fuck something from the fridge like a Philip Roth character!"