I thought everyone in Savages except the two "protagonists" understood that the movie required hammy (or, at least, playful) performances. Maybe I'm giving it too much credit, but I thought it was trying to be kind of a satire of liberal do-gooderism in the age of globalization—Mr. Sensitive feels like his charitable…

When you came in here to audition did you see the sign out in front of the building that said "Dead Career Storage"?

Mark Kermode's negative review kind of makes me want to see it:

"Hmmm . . . I'm not feeling nauseated and exhausted anymore, but I hear there's a movie out that'll fix that!"

Did you see it on a Tuesday to avoid feeling like you wasted your weekend?

"I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing: 'Why, oh why, didn't I take the morning-after pill?'"

Different guy—you're thinking of the director of Fuck Her: A Man and His Dream.

Say "the" again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker!

Is this how you lost your job as a high school algebra teacher?

There's Francis Ford Coprophagia, but arguably he hasn't made a good movie since A Poo To Lips Now

The Sorbonne Comma is a sex act so filthy it's still illegal in Utah, Alabama and Mississippi.

It's the yeast romantic film I've seen all year.

I hope you're not kidding.

Actually, it was François Screw-faut.

I read that as "doggy-style sex scenes and other[,] less conventional[,] sexual behaviors."

I prefer The 400 Blows.

Okay, well, we'll start at the beginning. She-Lob was an ordinary spider just trying to make it in Mordor when, one day, she was bitten by a radioactive elf. And, uh . . . hmmm. Well, there's a goblin involved, I know that.

Hey, they've got She-Hulk, why not She-Lob?

That creepy doctor from Can't Hardly Wait both sired andadopted these kids so the two beta-couples are technically committing incest, despite not being related.

You mean Shelob?