Why would someone cheat on their wife, marry the mistress, cheat on the new wife, marry the new mistress, then cheat on *them* with a pornstar, then run for national office under the banner of family values?

So… they’re just going to let it sit and rot on the shelf for ten months? Sounds like the studio’s really excited about it.

How about she release her next tune under a pseudonym, so her natural talent can shine through the veil of censorship? Watch her spin out as she avoids admitting that her surname is the *only* reason she gets any attention in the first place.

Apparently, Pinnix is a derivative of the old English name ‘Pinnock’... maybe she should think twice before telling fellow Europeans who does or doesn’t belong on Turtle Island.

I’m astonished - I didn’t know you could legally call something a restomod if you don’t drop in a crate V8 and put 20+ inch chrome rimz on.

Let’s start denying medication and treatment to men in case it affects their sperm?

I guess the Republican narrative is that somehow kids are getting drive-through sex changes on a whim with as little oversight as a drunken New Orleans tattoo.

It’s forty hours of being hit in the head with a Bible and being screamed at by a Glenn Beck type that you’re WRONG and why is the Devil in you?

Hmm.... this suggests a whole new approach to drag racing, where you have to run to the car in heels and get the best quarter mile time while checking your makeup in the rear-view mirror.

No, Elon, I don’t think this is going to get Paris to have a child with you.

There are two obvious reasons this truck isn’t sold in America:

Might as well call it ‘Meowguffin’.

I would like to see a lawsuit brought against someone who drives a group of anti-abortion protestors to an out-of-state abortion clinic, with the goal of making them prove that their purpose was *not* to have an abortion.

Wouldn’t it just be the highlight of your career as an astrophysicist to key the mike on the control room PA and say...

Every time you log on to Twitter (and all other social media sites), you should have to perform a Captcha, but instead of pictures of boats, you have to pick images of the words which make up a randomly-selected sentence along the lines of:

“Twitter, currently called ‘X’”.

I’m sure they take no responsibility for what their guns are used for once they leave the store, in the same way that their customers take no responsibility for what happens to the bullets once they leave the barrel.

In a functioning modern democracy, the Republicans would admit that they actually consist of several parties with different constituencies and goals, and break up accordingly. You know, so they’d have to work together to advance moderate policies which balanced different stakeholders’ needs, instead of crushingly…

I’m assuming that the wheels, catalytic converters and contents of every car will be gone within 48 hours, to the bemusement of the guards on duty, anyway.

I feel like he doesn’t really understand what it means to be a billion dollars in debt.