“Hunter Biden’s Satanic connections occasionally cause me to breathe out pro-choice steam.”

Yeah, if you’re a patriot, what’s your gun doing in your car? You should have it on you at all times, particularly in public, where you can ostentatiously display it and get in peoples’ faces about YOUR RIGHTS.

Only first-class passengers are guaranteed oxygen - all other seats have it provided as a courtesy.

“Turkeys - please vote, not just for Thanksgiving, but for the complete eradication of all turkeys!”

Why on earth would any organization bother using TwitXr any more? Time to find another way to communicate.

Oh, no! Heaven forfend that business groups and conservatives should attack Joe Biden! Inconceivable!

I expect that the spectators all stood up and howled until the refs skated up and told them to pick up their sticks and put their gloves back on.

Let them stay proudly asleep, eyes closed, guard down.

It’s easy to detect when a pickup has been stolen - if the throttle doesn’t go wide open at least once in every five minute period, the truck is being driven suspiciously discreetly.

“For sale - GMC Canyon. Ran when parked, but a trailer is advisable. Buyer *must* collect. Test drive at your own risk. No lowballers, I know what I have and *everyone* knows where it is.”

You have to realise that, although each plate was $100k, The Donald has expenses to cover - admin fees, payment processing, currency hedging reserves, taxes, bribes, etc. - which means that Rudy only got about 1% of the take :-)

I’m amazed the marriage outlasted the lawsuit.

Well, with no content being made, presumably the studio heads themselves aren’t doing their jobs, so maybe *they* should take a pay cut too?

…unlike America’s brand-spanking-new B-52 fleet…

It’s the Stasi dream - nominally a small government, but trying to build an unaccountable civilian network of informants and busybodies to keep the population in fear.

I’m hearing from other sources that the new law goes as far as constraining the Governor to pick from a shortlist cooked up by the state Republican leadership. The list will probably include one ultra-hard-right headbanger who no-one in their right minds would actually elect, and a bunch of even worse characters as…

My conspiracy theory: the reason he’s keeping his girlfriend in the shadows is that she isn’t Black, which he knows will trigger a lot of potential donors’ secret concerns about interracial couples. I could be wrong, and I hope I am.

The obvious mistake was not putting a ‘Thin Blue Line’ on one ass cheek and a Punisher sticker on the other.

“I think your client misunderstood the name. One of the admin staff in our credit division is named Jeanette Finale, and it was named in her honour. Case dismissed!”

Isn’t there a minor problem that it’d be easier to repeal the law of gravity than to get the three lead actresses in a room together?