I’m telling you, though, that wedding registries exist for one reason: relatives.

Is that for people to fund your honeymoon? Why would anyone fight you? That’s the way to go. Fuck nice china. You don’t need something you only use once taking up space.

To me that seems like the best kind of gift to give someone on their wedding day? We’re all adults, we can buy our own stuff. What’s nicer than giving someone a great holiday?

I got mine at a pawn shop, it was cheap, pale green and had all the attachments!

I told all my married friends that if I wasn’t married by 30 then they’d get a birthday registry from me, because I deserve a KitchenAid too, dammit.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and just say I’m confident a 30 times Pulitzer prize winning publication is not losing sleep over kids with webcams.

Kjlberg put that Fritz tweet as his banner picture because clearly he’s a stable and mature young man who understands the nuances of racial humor and not just another in the long line of emotionally stunted white baby men unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism.

There was the very liberal Jimmy Kimmel, not attacking, not ridiculing, not even joking about Tim Allen’s politics - and Tim Allen projects a judgement that wasn’t even suggested. Kimmel was being a perfectly congenial host. So again, where is the perceived persecution? In Tim Allen’s head.

Those mean liberals won’t allow him to work in Hollywood. Oh wait - he’s got a low rated weekly shitcom that ABC inexplicably keeps on their schedule. So what, now, was he bitching about?

To Whom It May Concern:

I put the Nazi in feminazi!

He literally got famous by showing how suburban white men are grunting moronic troglodytes. Literally. And proudly.

What crimes do liberals commit against their political opponents that are so fear-inducing and unreasonable?

I keep hearing about cramming things down our cis-het throats, but have never experienced it myself. At this point I kind of feel left out.

Indeed we are. I just recruited 3 more this week! Only another 28 recruitees and I get a free week on a gay luxury cruise!

Watch Duck Dynasty with the sound off?

Of course, nothing gay about two Army officers vacationing at Fire Island and lunching at a seaside bistro, admiring eachother’s handwriting. 

who has yet to actually meet a gay person in real life?