Give me back the 38 seconds it took to read your idiotic story. Venmo me now.

Are we ruling out the possibility that he’s secretly sworn to the Dallas Cowboys, though?

no one gives a s**t until someone gives a s**t

Wow, they must have been really appalled!

Never start a hot take with “as a Pats fan” - the whole world knows what is coming next.

Since he’s at Tampa Bay, probably should go with MRSA Hamster.

Because he's old. He's very old.

I love that the Demon’s Souls magic bar is back

I believe the correct phrasing is “assholes are pissed.”

This is the best one I’ve seen this morning.

Yeah....no

They should paint the 50 black.

Fuck yeah Raiders.

Oh, that’s a G. Phew.

Bray Wyatt then yelled “Is that your guy?!” about Ambreigns having a mystery partner.

And as a Giants fan I will start the day with 3 fingers of bourbon.

Lebanon is in Africa thus it is African. Way to spout off some colonial, white supremacist bullshit of what Africa is.

For me, it’ll always be this OP’d sumbitch.

Total Recall is a look back at the history of video games through their characters, franchises, developers and trends.