I was floored to hear Blackalicious’ Chemical Calisthenics in the “Into the Spiderverse” movie.

Low is right up there towards the top of my list of “Criminally Underappreciated Artists.” Just one exceptionally well-crafted album after another going back over two decades.

Some Common Bitch - title of your sex tape.

Now they’ll replace him with some common bitch.

Mr. Skin cuts out all the good bits and sells them on his own site, and the rest gets sold off to VidAngel as wholesome entertainment.  That’s using all parts of the buffalo right there.  

Well, now we see the result of years of helicopter parenting.

I got the results back. I definitely have eye-nipples.

Full disclosure: I thought of that line years ago, and have been waiting for a reason to use it. 

Oh hi Glenn . . .

“Daddy, why do we celebrate Keanumas”

Actually breaking Twitter would be the best possible use of Keanu’s considerable power and the final notch I’d need to cast my vote for canonization. 

Another word: Mojoworld

One word: Murderworld

I think some people are going to react to these Santana pull-quotes without being prepared by the knowledge that Carlos Santana believes he is being guided by an archangel named Metatron who is responsible for all human corporeal existence and experience.

This is what I’m worried about. I actually spent two hours on the phone with iTunes support last weekend because I couldn’t import a CD.

This kind of fandom gotcha shit that makes me romanticize the old pre-internet days when all we had were books and cholera.

That story about the cop who discovers that he’s the murderer sounds like a Donald Kaufman script I want to see get made!