What's up, @avclub-eee10e3b1f440f8e5dde6138c35e4a4b:disqus ?

I'm whipping up a batch of nut butter right now. Anyone want a taste?

I don't even need to watch that clip to know it's the "I'm gonna scare the hell out of you" commercial with Steven King trying to be menacing.

Who cares if she's short, go watch that "Where ever, when ever" song and watch her shake that thang

They didn't have Lord Huggington?

My wife said that to me on our wedding night!

Rolling in the Deep is about having sex with her, right?

Todd, TV gives so much and asks so little. It's a boy's best friend.

120 minutes of sodomy?

Indeed! I posted above the story of how I captured my wife's heart with a fart only hours after we met.

Within hours of meeting my wife, I went into a gunfighter stance and ripped a fart in her direction. First she looked shocked… then she cracked up.

I think you enjoy being a Contradicting Connie!

Still, Dwayne Johnson managed to claw his way out of the wrestling meat grinder to become a star with a sustainable movie career.

Hey, I've seen the Mysterious Aisle at Wal-Mart (and lived to tell about it).

Actually I wouldn't want to see the bedspread after you got done with it, @avclub-85ffb08f91a83b6566467b942828a560:disqus

Give Lucas a break… clearly the goiter is in charge now. He's just a meat puppet

Momma's wattle wiggles when she waddles

I always assumed he had "Brick House" played everywhere he went

Knowing how your life turned out, @avclub-7fd1d5cec910c61b1864a51eb7e18cbc:disqus , I am very sympathetic

What else Kirk… like needlepoint?