Things money can’t buy:

This reminds me of that time I didn’t win employee of the month and had my sisters call my manager every hour telling her that God would rain hellfire and plagues upon Papa John’s if my position wasn’t rightfully restored.

He actually resigned several weeks ago, but he didn’t think he had to report it to the school.

The Aristocrats!

Thank you. Trump has lowered the bar so far that we heap praise on a Bush? People were actually nostalgic for W since he was able to have a fully-functioning government.

Only a son or daughter of Greenwich (or the like) would think this needs explaining.

There’s at least 12 Bryces there.

The kind of people that have “full time availability” for a unpaid internship should be kept as FAR AWAY from government as possible, aka; every single little twerp in that lede image.

“Don’t y’all have jobs to do?”

These fools are like the bad guys in a kung fu movie, stepping up one by one to get knocked the fuck out.

What is it about this many stuffed toys that bothers me?

?? I hrdly know her!!

You know who likes stuffed toys? The troops! Are you saying you hate the troops, McQuade?

It’s pretty amusing that a guy who weighs 125 lbs soaking wet, has personal bodyguards almost everywhere he goes, and would get the living shit beat out of him if he was just some regular guy who walked into a bar and started running his mouth the way he does, would call anyone a bitch.

The silver lining to this whole debacle is that his chaos is exposing how sick our system is. There may be opportunity for real reform in his wake. We are still going to have to fight for it but the facade has been torn down.

The alcohol level in my blood is higher than Trump’s I.Q.

Should a towering straw man argument be called a Wicker Man argument?  Maybe we should burn Drew Brees for harvest.

It’s time to rethink LeBron James. I mean, he didn’t even get to play college ball.

Ohio, reaping the face-eating leopard rewards after voting for face-eating leopards.