I would go for an MSE-6 repair droid roomba.

How about he goes to Mattress Firm and removes all the tags?

Not as good as you might expect. 

Like he’s not even doing anything illegal? He’s just a sales rep for Asti Spumanti? I’m in.

Here are my suggestions:

I once met Abe Lincoln while he was in the process of attempting to sell poison milk to school children, I told him to cut those shenanigans out.

I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.

-Pissed in a urinal next to James Iha of the Gish-era Smashing Pumpkins before their show. He was in full velvet while doing so

Ooh I’ll play.

***SPOIILERS FOR Fringe***

One of the show’s masterstrokes was, after season 1, to turn Peter from not only a “Scully” into a “Mulder” (he was tiresomely a “non-believer” in season 1, creating predictable, lazy conflict), but then making him like, the central mystery of the show for most of the rest of its run.

Again,…

And yet, Fringe managed to stay one of the most consistent and watchable scifi tv shows of (dare I say it???)... all time? 100% had its flaws and grave missteps, but wow. What a consistently engaging show that made you like/care about its characters and what happened to them. As much as I’m willing to forgive deep…

It’s got a strong computer game cut-scene feel to it, but I applaud their innovative way of finishing the season (until the news comes out that they broke a bunch of union rules and dicked over the animation studio, or however these stories always play out).  

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

Who bothers to check their own tweets for coherency? You just type some nonsense and let the cookies fall where they may.

This is two interviews and no one has asked her about deflowering Ricky Schroeder in Lonseome Dove

Remind him he’s breaking quarantine and is at risk of contracting coronavirus. Contracting it from you. Then start coughing.

Dear Nobody,

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that ignores the fact that you changed the locks and breaks in through a wall trying to break in through a window to give you advice!

Those were not really hard questions today ^^
Between the guy whose problem solved itself, the dude wondering if asking his ONLY potential sex partner for sex is ok, the bondage dude that needs to sit his boyfriend in front of a couple knots tutorials or order no-skill-required bondage gear (straitjackets, handcuffs,…