so thats what a seventh degree burn looks like...

My parents having sex on the floor of the living room when I was a kid. They don’t know I saw them. It was late at night about 30 years ago, I was supposed to be asleep, and I can still picture it like it was yesterday. I remember thinking “you will never unsee this.” And I was right.

In my virtual kingdoms I’ve put in countless hours to fully gear out my characters. My overwatch gorilla has the finest jackets and hats. My fallout character lives in a beautiful, sprawling city that I custom designed. He even has a stable 401k. I am married to a hulking, horned demon in another game. In the real…

The new Mac is different than I thought it’d be.

Dirtiest highway exit sign in America in Troy, Michigan

Sounds mean? Maybe you and I are working from a different reference point.

You’d think a guy bragging about building a wall could manage a few curtains.

I bought a factory-built Beck Spyder and daily drove it for four years. In Ohio. In the winter, too.

It had no radio, no heater, no A/C, lap belts only, etc. It’s about as basic as it gets. Finding one with a Speedster windshield and a top goes a long way to making it decently practical.

I searched “below average” and got a nice selfie.

Playing college football is a privilege, not a right. If you can’t have the integrity to avoid illegally purchasing pencils for school, then you can’t be trusted to risk your long term health for the profit of your institution.

If he doesn’t want to get hit in the head, maybe he shouldn’t wear a helmet. He’s just asking for it when he’s dressed like that.

Disgusting.

She was standing her ground against that car.

Allen said he saw the cyclist at the last second, but he was coming too fast.

Salesman shouldn't have told them it was the "best f**king car on the lot".

This is absolutely disgusting.

Dear Toyota,

Sweet mother of fuck! Another day on Jalopnik… Another pair of ruined pants.

I changed the rules, Kobayashi Maru-style.