A bit of JB Weld will fix that right up.

Damn. I was hoping it would be Tracy Morgan...

You don’t have kids...but you’re not wrong.

Maybe you should try some type of suspendered boot/pant combo like they have? You might have better luck.

Yes but trust me, they were huge, tremendous words.
The BEST words.
The dean of admissions personally called DT to tell him that he had never seen such tremendous words. 

Goddamn Alberta!
You’re our lovable, land-locked Florida.

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...

It was a propane torch (or “pig roaster”).
THIS is a flamethrower...

Pretty sure, yup.

If they really like you it’s watch batteries and Capri Sun pouches

Yup, that was the impression I had.

“It was gift.”

Is it just me, or is the spotlight on the goal (and goalie) instead of the goal-scorer a little harsh?
“BEHOLD, HE WHO FAILED!!!”

Also, is from Norway. Not exactly a hockey superpower.

Cheer for a team from CANADA over one from hockey’s heartland of the American Southwest?! Whatever...

Two words. FART NOISES.

I hated the Tim Burton Batman, and didn’t bother to watch any of the ones that followed until Batman Begins.
Don’t rope me into this. You guys are on your own on this one...

It didn’t hurt as bad as 2013, but it sure as shit didn’t tickle either.
TBH though, I didn’t expect to get to a Game 7 with Boston BEFORE Game 1. I figured games would be closer, but I wouldn’t have been surprised to be swept.