Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king
And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything

That hit to break the perfect game was the happiest i've been as an astros fan since 2005.

What is the record for most no-no's allowed in a year's span?

This game is borderline depressing.

Thanks. That makes me feel better.

Oh, I have no doubt. Luhnow will be great. I just wish people cared as much as I did.

We're only at game 2 of the season, and there's already bunch of empty seats at Minute Maid Park. Houston isn't a baseball town at all.

Cardinals are the Yanks' of the NL, so this is wonderful.

I feel like it's ok to have one team per MLB division that you root for, and here is mine:

A lot of people, surprisingly.

I feel like in this situation, Jeff Loria is the niece who shakes the bag and kills the fish.

Making Purple Rain doesn't excuse you from being a dick.

At least you're not an Astros fan. *runs away crying*

All of ya'll wish you had orbit.

I bet it's cause that one guy gave Tobias a stern talking to on twitter about that Onion thing.

This is either awesome or terrible, depending on your opinion of Kroll.

I'm sure the mom will be good, it's just my cousin is an idiot.

I can't wait for "Finding Marlin" where Nemo looks for something something joke about how much the Miami Marlins suck.

I'll be honest, I don't think my cousin will be a good father.

They gotta mess up their playoff chances somehow. It wouldn't be the Leafs way.