Semen Storage Blows Its Load

“The director’s decision tastes like burning.”—Ralph Wiggum

Go very Wisconsin and make it something New Glarus, right? I’m thinking Fat Squirrel. 

I’d argue that Michigan basketball has looked more competent than Michigan football for at least a decade now 

Taking the Army to multiple overtimes is a fun tribute to the war in Afghanistan

Yet another Deadspin staffer bitter at the success of the mighty Oakland Athletics

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

The Major sport that’s hardest on your body, is far and away the worst for your brain (and long term risks), but pays far and away the least and guarantees nothing in contracts (and has a history of fucking over it’s retirees) is having a problem with players walking away from the game.

Is there any other sport like American football where the fans and pundits feel like the players owe them something? And said fans/pundit industry feel they have a divine right to dictate behavioral standards to the players?

Pro-Tip: If you want to increase traffic, don’t call it an Oakland Athletics blog. Say it’s a very early blog about the 2022 Yankees.

Stick to politics, Barry. Nobody wants to read about a team that wasn’t good enough for Philly or KC.

Fun fact: Most Iranians disagree with it. It’s almost as if people in governments can enforce values different from the people the govern. But as an American, I obviously have no experience with that.

Dying fucking laughing +1

Ooh that slider so scandalous
And you know another catcher can’t handle it
So you throwin that thang like who’s the ish
With a look in yer eyes so Yu Darvish
Uh

a story about the humbleness and generosity of Heisman-winning Super Bowl Champion Charles Woodson is definitely sports-related

Did anyone see this survey they talk about? I spend an unholy amount of time on this website and I have no recollection of any survey. The bit about ads on phones though—I’m intimately familiar and frustrated with that.

It’s a recurring thought exercise of mine to imagine what and where Trump would be if he hadn’t inherited the fortune, business, and political connections of his stupendously wealthy father. I keep coming back to this:

To think that we almost lost him to baseball, if the Mets had managed to convince him to turn pro and join their organization.

It’s called Monty Burns syndrome. Surround yourself with yes men, and next thing you know you’re the smartest person in the room, even though you are far from it. Simpsons did it!

If Trump wasn’t a traitorous white supremacist grounding our country into the pavement, there’d be an almost endearing Baron Munchausen quality to the man. One day a visitor at one of his hotels or casinos, who happens to own a used car dealership in a small town in Michigan, pays Trump some benign compliment, and…