Holy shit this sounds awesome.

This was a recipe that I made when I was maybe 9 years old for a church dinner. (Actually, it was for Food & Fellowship which was on the second Sunday of the month. I digress.) Anyway, it was a recipe that I got from Zoom!, a show I watched religiously on PBS. My mother was exasperated with that show because it…

It’s not bad, actually. It’s an annoying buzz sound that will go off until you unplug the whole damn thing. My dog doesn’t seem to care about it but the only things that get him going are people walking up our porch steps and motorcycles so...

My in-laws raise a good portion of their own meat. They explained this to my husband and his brothers as their “meat garden”. They named all of the mammals (Beefy Boy, Sir Loin, Bacon, Ham, etc) and one of the more obnoxious roosters (Cogburn. Fuck that rooster.)

My dad once announced that we were having Dinosaur Pie and to this day he will not tell me what he actually put in it. I was maybe 3 at the time and I don’t really remember how it tasted, I just remember that he put a pastry dinosaur on it. Dad claims that this was his method of getting me to try new foods: tell me…

There was an Irish pub in the small town in Oklahoma where I spent the last three years, and they had a charcuterie plate that was...ok. But they served the most amazing pickles on that thing...I’ve spent most of my day today (it’s hopefully my last week of funemployment) stalking pickles online-not a metaphor. Any…

I don’t think I’d ever eaten a soft boiled egg or made a poached egg until my parents regifted me the egg maker my aunt bought my grandma. (It was determined that it was too complicated to leave in the hands of a mostly deaf dementia patient.) This thing is incredible, despite the fact that I have ~feelings~ about…

I can’t wait until this move is over and I can start restocking my bar (the movers won’t take open bottles and I have been stuck drinking some really odd concoctions for the past month trying to get my open bottles either emptied and tossed or down to a reasonable number for me to chuck in my small car leaving room…

Venison.

http://www.xojane.com/diy/xofood-you-got-cheesy-blasters-and-three-other-fiction-inspired-foods

• Which non-food-focused TV show has the best food? I am obsessed with Bob’s Burgers burgers to the point that I have TWO copies of the cookbook. I have only made one of the recipes so far because my gallbladder rejects cheeseburgers in painful and inconvenient ways. (I am currently in the process of rejecting my…

This is freaking genius.

I’m late to the party on this one, but I’m going to do it anyway because sandwiches are basically a religious experience in my family.

• BIG QUESTION: Will you be going out or staying in? I don’t get to see my mom for Mother’s Day this year, but if I did we would probably be cooking at home/taking Gran to Culver’s for Mother’s Day.

• Protein: I do pork pretty well. I like making pork loin for Ken and I, pork tacos for Sunday Funday, porketta for family.

Whaaaaaat that sounds amazing.

• Life has been very stressful lately but as I am trying to not be 300 pounds (and I’m already too close for comfort on that one), I have been attempting to find alternative ways to satiate “eat-your-feelings o’clock” over here. But normally, dairy. I’m from Wisconsin, it’s what I know.

I have a pork taco recipe that calls for fish sauce. It makes my kitchen/whole house smell like a girls-only hot yoga class for about 10 minutes but it is WORTH IT.

Burger rings. I miss them so.

On a somewhat related topic, I got stoned for the first time this weekend and I enjoyed just plain rice more than pretty much anything else that’s happened to me in the past two years.