Well a prophylactic recall turned me into parent

He butchered S. Morgenstern. Butchered, I say!

You and me both, buddy.

Americans would never stand for a system in which the entirety of the playing cadre was turned over every three or four years. It’s ludicrous to even think they’d fill 80,000 seat stadiums every Saturday to watch it.

Can anything good come out of Syracuse?

I’ll probably double check this out in passing.

It’s his own fault. If he lived in the US, he wouldn’t have had health insurance so he couldn’t have had surgery. Problem solved.

So when the Catholics do it, it’s fine.  

His teammates legs are blocking my view. I can’t even see the banana peel.

I’ll have you know my parents talk all the time. Mostly about what a disappointment I am. So there, joke’s on you.

Is this really the world we want to live in, where we scour through people’s social media posts to find something questionable they said TWO DAYS AGO to destroy their careers?  Honestly, who even cares what a school superintendent said when he was only 53 years and 263 days old?  How do you know he isn’t a completely…

1. What part of this car is most like a horse?

A 2 week suspension without pay seems a little harsh, all he did was give a pep talk at work and he’s being punished like he shot an unarmed black man.

If we’re following the pattern of murdered white ladies in Iowa, it’s time to deport all the white dudes and build a wall on the border with Nebraska. 

This is really going to complicate his supreme court confirmation hearing in 2052.

Giri, I just wanted to say that I think you’re a really, really good at what you do. No snark, no sarcasm. Well done, as usual. 

Cheers to Lauren and Laura for 1. calling this asshole out and 2. being able to publicly laugh it off.

When did they take it off the cover?

You must not have been watching that closely, because the first season of American Vandal was extremely pointed satire about our obsession with true crime documentaries and the power that they have to distort our perception of the facts and reduce real people to character archetypes. The dick jokes were a clever…

This is the kind of thinking that keeps Dockers in business.