The Ancient Mystic Society of No Hues

The .490 is the Browns lifetime win percentage, which obviously isn’t their 2018 win probability. Even including the “good” (or, “less bad”) Browns teams of the past, they’re still a horrible team!

She has said on many occasions she knows I will never cheat on her because of how loyal I am to a team that kicks me in the balls 16 times a year.

Your numbers are meaningless because in which universe do the Browns have a expected in rate of .490, much less .500? I think the ESPN game day tracker defaults to 15% win probability at kickoff for every Browns game.

Tyrod was decent and the Bills were really fucking stupid to trade him with no viable replacement. Doesn’t mean the Browns won’t ruin him, nor does it mean you aren’t a racist who stereotypes black QBs.

Trick question, Belichick hates everyone!

They won’t tell me what goes on inside.

A little nip and tuck is the half of ass in a half-assed effort.

The worst part is that while everything here is true, this is still the best roster (on paper) that the Browns have had since the fucking nineties.

Matt:

They could get relegated to a four team arena league and still find a way to miss the playoffs. 

I think the Browns didn’t get much shit for 0-16 because everyone expects them to lose. I was honestly surprised that this was their first winless season.

Nicholas:

Ken gets my star:

I still like Baker Mayfield. I just think bad things are going to happen to him because he’s in Cleveland. In a vacuum it’s entirely possible that the extremely accurate passer to all spots on the field could one day become the best QB in the draft. But because he went to Cleveland, that becomes almost impossible to…

That’s not a typo, he got confused over the last two Steelers seasons. It was the year before where they made it to the AFCCG.

The day long awaited is finally upon us.  Welcome back WYTS, it has been too long.  

Man Drew Magary really pulled a Cleveland Browns there!

They’re the Browns, but they’re helmets are orange. This has pissed me off for a while. Also, people argue over how good/bad their uniforms are/used to be. Newsflash: they’ve always sucked.

Much like my self-review for work, I’m pretty sure this is cut and pasted from last year....