Could have used more vegan options.

"You want bones? Here are your fucking bones!"

Nothing beats a monogrammed thermos. Nothing.

Oh, god, the "Slow Ride" procession of the elderly. I am dead. I'm in my cube having one of those laughs that look and sound like an asthma attack, but no, it's the hilarity.

I need to air my vagina. So I'll sit with my legs wide open too, taking up 4 fucking seats. If anyone complains, it's biology. I need to ventilate between my legs, because yeast. Or something.

ur literally famous

"Why are we calling this 'manspreading?' Both women and men can open their legs. Women probably don't do it as often as men do but it's something we all do and I don't understand why we have to label it as such."

You know what other group has trouble sitting in chairs.....children k-2....nuff said. I mean, if they want to be treated like children....

Thats... Thats not how physics works...

Oh, please. It's an epidemic. I can't go through one day without seeing menfolk fall off their chairs. By the dozens. Usually, they mumble something about a high center of gravity while falling to the ground. How can you ignore that?

Women shouldn't even be allowed to take public transportation, because our menstruation attracts bears and that's putting everyone at risk. Biology.

They will tip over if they sit with their legs together. They will TIP OVER if they sit with their legs together. I have been snorting in my cubicle for the last few minutes because I keep picturing some poor man sitting on the bus helplessly falling over like one of those fainting goats because he's trying to sit…

"Men have a high center of gravity, broad shoulders, and narrow hips. Because of this we'll tip over if we sit with our legs together," another man wrote in, what appears to be, all seriousness."

I think men should be allowed to spread their legs as wide as they want on the bus as long as women are allowed to change our tampons on the bus and throw the used ones at the most annoying passengers. Because of biology.

Men have a high center of gravity, broad shoulders, and narrow hips. Because of this we'll tip over if we sit with our legs together.

Never quite landed with readers the way it did with me. I think "Ma'am...it doesn't have legs. Or a body. It's parsley" is way funnier to me than it would be to most people.

Men have a high center of gravity, broad shoulders, and narrow hips. Because of this we'll tip over if we sit with our legs together.

Men can't bring stroller's onto buses? Who knew?

Of the three major cities I've lived in (London, Boston, Toronto), Toronto is THE FUCKING WORST for public transportation etiquette.

No freaking way is their NYE in Dubai better than my NYE on sofa island in comfy clothes eating cheese.