In my particular small town dynamic, I was one of maybe ten kids (at a high school of around 600) that wasn't flat-out white or Mexican. That didn't give me privilege, it gave everyone who wanted it a reason to dislike me. I never "fit in" to either group well enough, so while we might pal around during class, at the…

It's so frustrating. I've struggled with my identity for years because of shit like this. White privilege doesn't make up for the constant nagging feeling that you don't belong (especially because it's not just strangers that treat you differently).

I'm basically all of the things too! Mexican/German is just easiest since it's how I identify/my last name is clearly not Mexican. Real life I'm also Spanish/French/Dutch/English/Blackfoot/Who knows? My grandma spoke just about enough English to spoil me when we went to visit and she was the BEST cook ever. …

Since my mom/uncles/cousins/grandpa/extended family are "ethnic-looking" Mexican-Americans (and I was raised in the midst of this family), I think I understand the dynamics of skin tone pretty well, thanks. I know all about the horrible things Texas curriculum covers up about the decades of systematic…

You would think that people would realize that, but me being half-white is pretty much all they focus on.

I'm not complaining about my appearance. I'm aggravated that I have to deal with people telling me that my appearance cancels out my right to identify as Mexican-American.

"You guys are basically White people."

Ugh, everything is just...ugh. On a funny note, when I was little I would listen to my mom talk to my grandma in Spanish, then run and tell my dad when they started talking about him. It was never anything bad, I just though it was hilarious for some reason.

Most of the times I've been called a "mutt" it's been aggressively. To put the "Mexican enough" comments into context, it's been people telling me that because I have light hair, green eyes, and a German last name, I can't participate in my own culture. That my physical appearance cancels out any rights I have to my…

Exactly. (Also I love Martin Freeman sooooo this is even better.)

Thanks to my particular Texas town, I grew up being "not white enough" AND "not Mexican enough". Lots of people calling me a "mutt", most of them meaning it to be offensive. Super fun stuff.

And there goes any other option. (In my mind.)

I still drink a can/bottle of Diet Pepsi or Diet Dr Pepper a day, but I started drinking flavored sparkling water instead, for the most part. Bubbles AND flavor! And nothing else!

The one friend is actually kind of improving, but she's also two hours away from me, so I can tolerate it-she'll be a lot better when she moves out of our hometown and away from her fiance's ex. They just antagonize each other and she spreads that attitude to her whole life.

I'm pretty sure she'll just pretend she hasn't done anything wrong (like she does in every aspect of her life) and tell herself I'm jealous or something, if she ever even realizes I don't want to be her friend.

Where do these people even come from? Your ex-friend sounds she's even worse than mine, but they're definitely cut from the same cloth. Sometimes I feel like all I am is an accessory for her, especially since most of the time we talk, it's because she wants me to do something with/for her.

Thank you! So glad I'm not the only one who thinks she's horrible.

Ha, thanks! It's not too hard to avoid her right now, but I suspect I'll just have to use the ignore button on my phone a lot more.

Ugh, she does that thing where there's always something going on in her life that makes it way better/worse than mine. I can't win, so I guess it's time to forfeit.

One time she tried to slut-shame me (for stuff that happened years ago) and when I told her it didn't bother me because my opinion of myself was the only one that mattered, she called me a liar. Basically, her opinion is always right (and if it's not your opinion too, she'll tell you why you're wrong).