Someone remind me to send in a few of my Charles E Cheddar stories.

Sororities > Fraternities.

SAY THAT TO MY FACE. [flips table in a very gay fashion]

The dude seems like a swell guy. I kind of dabble in his and Markiplier’s videos when I can. It seems like they’re just goofballs who love video games. I hope he enjoys this.

I hope her kneecap dislocates. Trust me. It’s very painful.

In an attempt to stop “murder”, extremists murder. Huh.

Try working at a Charles E Cheddar location. (Please don’t find this, corporate.) It’s the hellish combination of retail and restaurant covered in screaming kids and parents who really should have gotten their tubes tied. Also we serve beer. There is a limit, but we’ve had situations where individuals have come in…

You may not wanna mention police anywhere on that list.

Didja see the end of that comment chain?

Yeah, it was misconstrued. Glad we cleared that up then. This is still ridiculous how they had the guns in the first place.

My ever-hypocritical prayers go out to him and his family. :<

Do I really have to spell something out to you that everyone else has been saying? I’m sure you’ve already heard the part about blunt object murders vs gun murders.

Yeah that’s certainly not backing up that last statement but yes, I know handguns are mostly responsible. Inner-city stuff yo.

Thank goodness idiots like this still post on Facebook. Think of all the crime that has been stopped because criminals keep posting status updates. Not only that, but Facebook tells me exactly which family members to avoid during reunions. (Hint: all of them.) I propose we nominate Mark Zuckerburg as a national hero.

Sauce plz.

I was like 20 or so and dating a transguy after coming to terms with my sexuality. At the time, my mother didn’t know my friend’s condition or that I was bi. I went on a trip to visit him as his family had invited me to go skiing. When I come back, she confronts me, telling me she had looked through my (passworded)…

As a childcare provider, bless your heart. Picky eaters make me want to strangle parents.

“You don’t eat until you bring Daddy a real trophy, sons.”

Give me like, a couple of hours and I can make your dreams come true, Brian.

I think I need to go cry a bit. Excuse me.