@marks-alot: I'm sorry, I know this is totally not the reality, but I'm imagining applying for that job being like the most epic battle of wits through personality tests. Like, "Here are three copies of the same test, marked A, B, and C. Fill them out so that A marks you as a dynamic leader, B a subservient drone, and…

@Swarley: I remember my first bullshit retail job application. It was in the electronics department. I straight asked the interviewer (prolly I was nervous b/c I had no idea what to expect), "So... are you going to test my product knowledge? I know a lot about X and Y..." "Oh, no, nothing like that." "Oh. My…

@jasminetea: If you can jiggle it until it works, it's almost def a loose/damaged connection between the computer and the screen. If it goes super-dim-almost-black it's the cable going to the inverter board (backlight power). If it's the whole thing, the display cable.

@LadyCoCo: It's a dependent clause, no comma.

@ZioZio: I'd be the one who comes up with a highly intricate and well thought-out plan for survival that is ruined by either a freakout by that one character everyone hates for ruining everything and almost getting everyone killed, or by a glaring oversight on my part, which my hubris prevents me from acknowledging…

@Sputnik_Sweetheart:

@Sputnik_Sweetheart:

Just threw on Pinkerton. I have a date in a couple hours. WHY.

@thatgirlinnewyork: If anything, 4chan would be voting FOR Palin, because this is just comedy gold.

@blackbirdfly(ingundertheradar): Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know.

@Thus Spake Kate is effulgent.: You don't believe in Satan? Well, that's just Satan trying to deceive you.

@bananafishtoday: Btw I'm going to have nightmares about trying to magnetic lasso turkey feathers after this.

HORROR

@hotlikesauce: Not your age. My guess is you lost your tolerance. I drank on the regular for a long while and could drink most people my weight under the table. I stopped for a while and when I started again, I had the constitution of a 16 year-old. Practice makes perfect?

@snoop_dizzle: Creative writing major. I tell strangers I'm an English major, though, because it doesn't sound as silly and wasteful. But I don't care. I wantz to write the novelz someday. I'm transferring in a semester and if I can take a minor at my new school, it will be Spanish. I'm going to take the classes…

In other news, the county council of Lancashire has also decreed that "firefighters" was too PC, so it's back to "firemen" at a local firehouse. "They're clearly men—they're not wearing skirts," said one official.

@NotIt: You might say their opinions about marriage are in general very... orthodox. *rimshot*

@vanka-vstanka: In my family's church, you don't need to be Orthodox, but you need to be a trinitarian Christian (Catholic, Orthodox, and a handful of Protestant faiths) for the marriage to be valid. I'm not sure if other Orthodox faiths are more permissive.

I was about to come here and defend Naomi's conversion, because her husband may be devout and would be excluded from certain sacraments were he married outside an Orthodox Church. The Church also does not recognize as valid a marriage to a non-trinitarian Christian. Then I reread it and saw they were getting married…

I'm really excited for Facebook Mail, actually. See, I'm an English major. Finding a real job after college is going to be hard. But if everyone's putting @facebook.com on their resumes... score one for Gmail!