Maybe you weren’t a preteen when he was a handsome young prince, as I was. But I did get a chuckle at the suggestion that my standards are narrow because a blue-eyed, blond white man no longer fits them, so thanks for that.

I was a New Year’s Baby, and my mother still has the picture of my in her arms taken for the local paper at some incredibly early hour. She managed a smile.

More like Lady Buzzkill Soul, amirite?

Medical Jezzies or Jezzies who have borne spawn, please help me out here. Isn’t it crazy that she's going home only like half a day later? That's, like, allowed?

It’s probably already sold out.

She’ll do that when she gets home. I’m sure they’ll bring her whatever she wants to eat, and give her all the naps.

Shallow, but: my inner child is crushed by how unattractive Prince William has become.

I hate, with the fire of a thousand placentas, that she has to do this. The woman just brought another human into the world FROM INSIDE HER OWN BODY, an act that can be so traumatic and harrowing it kills thousands of women every year. No one should be required to be beautiful within hours of this; just let her rest…

I LOVE that yellow dress!

I drove 5 hours straight to get home from where i was living back to my parents’ after a break up and signed the ex up for adult diaper samples in the mail and std email newsletters (he was a cheater). There were three yowling cats. The. Whole. Way.

I doused myself in gasoline and set myself on fire after you broke up with Jezebel.

Drove to Daytona Beach with a cat in my car and got a tattoo. I just don’t even know how to explain that shit.

My ex cheated on me with his brothers girlfriend. He then had the audacity to ask for his high school lacrosse hoddie back (he was 22 this should have been a warning sign). I burned it at a bonfire, took a picture and put the ashes in a box with the picture.

When my partner left me in 2006, I was devastated. After I talked myself out off the ledge, I took my child and fucked off to a beach town in South America where I rented an apartment. I partied hard and cried like a crazy person. After I was cried out and had let go of my partner, I felt much later. The next day I…

I called immigration and reported my ex as being an illegal immigrant with a fake ID. My ex is a natural-born citizen, but speaks Spanish fluently and uses Spanish for greetings.

I mean, I’d hope so. Otherwise it seems narcissistic.

So by the ins company’s “logic,” will they also not cover type 2 diabetes, or other various organ diseases that can be correlated to chronic obesity? FFS. They are like the shittiest of landlords who forget that they get to collect a tenant’s money ONLY if they provide them safe shelter.

Uggghhh. Codes. I went to my first preventive doctor visit in LITERALLY YEARS after finally having gotten insurance, and the doctor’s office coded the visit under every single thing the doctor and I discussed.

I have noticed that A lot of times BC and the mammogram bills come about because of the codes they use. Sorry folks, it’s not an efficient system if you are using an inappropriate code to evade a law and deceptively charge me. I will hound every customer service rep you have and cc: everyone in HR until next year’s…

I haven’t read the story yet, but this is me reading just the headline: