Ugh, it might also be because my grandmother died last night (fuck, right, cue debbie downer noise), but jesus, I’m now officially a MESS. WHAT HAVE I DONE REHASHING THESE HORRIBLE MEMORIES!!!

I don’t know if this counts as a burn, but my 5 year old niece had a kid at school that was making fun of her during recess. Really childish stuff (fittingly) but it was really getting to her. Her mom told her that the kid was just picking on her to get a reaction out of her. So at school the next day she confronted…

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

OMG, awkwardturtle. I’m in tears. The story itself is bad enough (I have a similar one myself, because middle schoolers are fucking assholes) but your mom’s reaction has me literally blubbering.

Ooh, this one will be fun! The first story coming to my mind is one I have told on here before, but I’m sure it will be new to most of you:

I cannot think of where else I would even consider opening my stripper school.

Read the recap, and instantly thought: “Has to be Trampa.”

Given what happens in Florida on a regular basis this Canadian man must have thought it was perfectly ok to open up a stripper school there.

But in their local signs & advertising, they made it clear you wouldn’t have to keep your day job at all! They were looking for girls who want a CAREER in dancing. (Which is perfectly fine if that’s what someone wants, but even the “hiring” ads were squicky.)

I mean if strippers strip to pay their way for college, wtf do these gals do to pay their pay through stripper school?

I can see going to pole dancing classes because some strip clubs have an expectation of acrobatics routines on the pole. Otherwise though...nah.

If you have to go to school to be a stripper, keep your day job. (Or get a day job.)

Morganite. Pretty peach color, and much cheaper than overhyped diamonds.

I like pink and blue; I’m partial to purple because it’s my favorite color.

I don’t understand the appeal of pink, yellow and brown diamonds. Blue are pretty cool, though.

I’m just aghast at the fact that Nicki was with Safaree for 12 years, dumped him, got with Meek, and months later they’re engaged. Good for her I guess. Looks like her dream of getting married and having kids is starting to happen. The ring is tacky though. I like heart rings but not with a piss colored yellow diamond.

bruh.

After 250 years in a latrine? That's for you to decide.