Honestly, Rihanna bossing around Leonardo DiCaprio and finding him subpar is basically every sex dream I have ever had.

I don't know about all states, but here in Florida, my son was vaccinated for free.

HUGE hands. Huge, soft, well manicured hands. And his eyes are the bluest eyes I've ever seen on a human being.

I have also met Bill Clinton. And I lost my shit. He was very gracious about the whole thing. Now I am rethinking the entire encounter and wondering if he was staring at my rack.

I had a freaking death grip on that book when they tried to take it away from me. There was no way I was letting it go. I was completely prepared to go wait in the car for two hours, that's how serious I was.

I've kissed Dustin Hoffman.

Aww, don't cry. I could go on and on about all the sweet things she did for us every time she was in-house for a show, but I don't need a chapter of a book to testify that she was nothing like her TV persona behind the scenes with us.

He wasn't even supposed to BE a Beatle, and I hope at least one person a day reminds him of that fact.

This is the best story I got:

made out with adrien brody at the airport

I want to make out with Adrian Brody at the airport. That beautiful nose....

You made out with Adrien Brody?! Twenty year old me is crazy envious right now.

Circa 2002? Maybe 2003.

I was the Room Service Coordinator at a casino in Atlantic City, NJ. My job consisted of taking orders via phone, creating the checks, assigning servers, and closing the checks. Room service also handled all the amenities for the shows, so I've been on the phone with an assortment of…

I know all the lawyers with whom Amal Clooney has ever interacted. Does that count? (I understand that it probably does not. Also have never met her).

I ran into Billie Joe Armstrong and Tre cool of Greenday, outside a small university auditorium back when they were touring for dookie. I was 16 I think. Tre asked me if I wanted some of his beer and then he poured it over my tits. I wasn't impressed.

Taylor, Prince would like to have a word with you.

Northern European men are always youtube/instagram/snapchat stars. The blonde hair and light eyes mesmerize tweens.

It's the same as Jez covering the nude photo celebrity hack. I know anger-inducing articles generate clicks, but it's still irresponsible.

The remarkable thing, to me, about this is the continuing dystopian fantasy about "women's privileges" maintained by these nutcases and far too many who don't pull out the guns, but complain privately. If you quiz them about what these "privileges" are, they'll tell you:

- women expect and get free everything
- women…