I miss every inch of Elliot Stabler.

I miss Elliot Stabler's forearms.

Just doing my part, ma'am.

50,000,000 POINTS FOR THE LOOPER REFERENCE. OMG.

He's Cumberbatch's looper, for sure.

Given how much time they devote to yelling and throwing rocks, you'd think that Palestine would have a world-class curling team.

It's like that old joke about how I went to a curling match and some women's tennis broke out.

I'm just happy that Olympic chicks now look like chicks.

Shannon Bridges is also alleged to have gotten vegetable matter all over her fiance's Wrangler jeans. He claims his Nationwide insurance policy won't cover the damage either. The defendant was most upset because he had planned to wear them out that night while hanging out drinking Mountain Dew with his National Guard…

Does anyone around these parts confess to wearing their clothes? Just curious. No judgment here. (Because you're all very concerned about judgment from some random dude on the Internet.)

War Babies!? Back in the good old days, when war was cute! Makes me want to bake one of my famous War Pies...

But the bright side is that you are now the American sports journalist who was banned from the 2014 Olympics for online pics of you yanking off your knob.

Barry Petcheski who tore handles at the hotel, photographed them and lecturing in my social networks."

It's incredible how one picture of a broken door knob can send so many people flying off the handle.

In many ways Russia seems more and more like hyper-America. Super nationalist with strong racist/homophobic tendencies.

Don't forget his most memorable routine: Sex Bomb!

This has to be false, what person in modern society doesn't take their phone into the bathroom with them?

Do steroids, by chance, cause hallucinations?

But where is the racism in this?