The only person in the Potterverse wielding Deus ex machina is Dumbledore. He constantly pulls out spells/knowledge to solve problems the characters have been working on the entire book. That's his thing. That's why she kills him off before the fight with Voldemort.

Those aren't gallstones, those things are produced when you ingest a large amount of olive oil and grapefruit juice.

The Christmas my mom was in chemo, I arrived at the parental homestead, gifts in hand to find no one there to greet me. Which was scary at first, given that all I did was worry about her 24/7. Turns out she and my father were in the spare room frantically cleaning up the murder-scene-ish mess that happened after Mom…

Six years ago my then 3 year old son saw the Santa version of the snowman pan in the catalog and asked me to get it. I did because I was 7 months pregnant and felt guilty about this being his last Christmas without a sibling. WORST DECISION. First, the fancy ass decorations in the catalog were done with fruit…

Well I didn't know so many illiterate Conservative Fucktards knew how to spell "Progressive", so I guess we both learned something today.

"Wadda ya mean 'smelled funny.' Did the smell amuse you?"

Keith Olbermann Punches the NFL In the Face, Drags It Out Into The Lobby, Sends It A Copy Of Said Punching Via FedEx, Tells The NFL That It Wasn't Really All That Bad, Leaks The Video to TMZ, Is Ordered Into Its Manhattan Offices, And Then Sits And Watches The Video With It Just Laughing His Ass Off

Keith Olbermann Gets A Job Working For The NFL

cuz germans do everything right.... except when they lose there minds once a century and try to take over the world.

If being treated rudely and arrested is worse than Gaza, then Gaza isn't nearly as bad as we've been led to believe.

Or maybe nothing's changed - he's walking around with his gun like that because he wants to defend himself and his city from evil. He's also an incredible stupid, naive person who doesn't truly understand the world, so he probably sees the vast majority of black people as 'evil' (and a lot of other cops do, too). He's…

Does anybody think it's odd that the Mayor of Ferguson's name seems to have never come up in any of this? Turns out he's apparently a 31-yo Republican and ex-Ferguson PD officer:

I think you have to use parseltounge.

Listen Derek whoever you are. I knew Michael Jeter. I saw Michael Jeter on Broadway. And you, sir, are no Michael Jeter!

Listen, teabaggers, and you shall hear

Dear lord, just let that poor honey badger go free to honey badger as he wishes!

I feel like it taps into some deep, primate need to groom others.

Olympic officials have since contacted the original taker of this photograph to ask them if they can have that banana, they are running low.

I would have gone with "cheesewheels" myself.