Thanks, you’re the perfect embodiment of what this post is rightfully mocking. Good job!

“Tim Tebow Saves First Base For Marriage”

She has a book coming out next year about the subject, promising “highly tactical, solution-oriented content” for women in the office.

Finally Clark Hunt’s finest hour since firing Carl Peterson: becoming a “Marine Todd”-esque meme.

The exact same thing is posted with jerry jones...dude got taken by a meme

Libertarians are the fucking worst. Grow the fuck up.

shut the fuck up

Finally, the coveted lipless weirdo demographic.

No dude. No. Ben & Jerry’s has better flavors. Haagen Daz has better texture. Blue Bell is not remarkable, it’s just sentimental.

I’m from Texas and grew up on Blue Bell, but will never understand this line of thinking. BB knew of a listeria problem for years before actually addressing it. And only after it killed a handful of people. The main duty a food company owes me is to not make me sick. BB betrayed that in the name of share price. An…

So you live in Oklahoma, where there is a Braums on every street corner, but you would rather eat frozen listeria wax?

The only thing that’s less balanced than Fox News is Sean Hannity’s bathroom scale.

Hinkie had classes, but traded them for future classes and a guest speaker opportunity. He’s currently looking to swap the guest speaker slot for Starbucks gift cards and/or wi-fi passwords.

Apparently you’re not familiar with Title K-IX.

I’ve started to write three different snarky comments about this, but none state it quite as simply as this:

Donald Trump is a dangerous fool who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.

Good dad, my ass. Look at how badly that kid’s missing his spots.

I’m just (not at all) stunned that Shaun White is a complete douchebag

The word “leech” is in this article, spelled correctly, no fewer than ten times. And you still couldn’t get it right in your shitty joke.