I prefer anything that’s not a human being.

Sweetheart, you so, so, so obviously regret your children. The regret is so palpable, it’s seeping from your pores. I can practically smell it. If you did not regret your spawn with every ounce of your breeding being, your response, in its current form, would so totally not exist.

I’m not sure I’d bother much with Eddie. S/he’s one of those regretful types who is positively TROLLING this article and seeking every opportunity to call non-breeders “selfish” for not making the same (not brilliant) choices s/he made.

To raise good people in the world instead of relentlessly self-entitled man-babies?

Speaking of which, if you don’t have kids, why are you even reading this article?