When Mike Illich bought the Red Wings in the early '80s, Joe Louis Arena looked exactly like this. The team was terrible. So, what did Illich do? Give away unsold dirt cheap tickets. Have sweepstakes and giveaways to get people in the door. He gave away CARS at Red Wing games. And most importantly, made the team…

I'm a Padres fan so hell yeah I'm jealous of the success the Cardinals have. Why these articles, jokes, and consistent nationwide fun-poking keeps happening is the unrelenting bullshit that Cardinals fans spew out over stuff that no one cares about.

Stop being a shit-stirrer, Barry. That firefighter was dead way before the guy in the mascot costume took that picture with him.

This guy is actually really famous, and goes by his nickname, Staff Jackson.

Yep, that's how I remember the original Crew logo. I distinctly remember thinking "do they want to give the impression that this team will pop a cap in yo fukkin ass?"

Um, New Kid In Town, along with being musical nitrous oxide, is literally about your girlfriend growing bored with you and boning someone else.

I think this could turn into a series:

I've noticed that people only resort to calling something "PC" when they have no other arguments in favor of their position. It's like they're saying "You're right, the things I said are offensive, but I refuse to admit that you won, so instead I'm just going to say you're correct, but say it in a way that makes it…

???

And oddly enough, none of them appeared to have brought their black friend to the game

Automatic assumption that black people don't have jobs. Check

You're right. No one should talk about the racism or violence in St. Louis until we've made sure to talk about every instance of racism and violence in Los Angeles. This is how the media works. Obviously the history of the LAPD has gone totally under-reported, and besides, we're only at the Ls right now so we have to…

You forgot to add "Deadspin reader who is a Cardinal fan, gets to whine in comments about 'being ragged on' again."

Only the Bawl was White

And you get to feel superior and write a comment about Deadspin dissing the Cardinals and their fans. So you win, too!

These Cardinal's fans are doing things the white way.

Devil's advocate — why shouldn't you be torn limb from limb by hungry lions during halftime of Monday Night Football? Gory and illegal, sure, but is it wrong?

Yeah. Also, fans should be able to throw bags of urine and coins and other items at the heads of players.

You're asking why a fan should not be allowed to shine a laser into a player's eyes. Take a moment and think about that.

Amazing how quickly the NFL can come up with a clear, concise & specific set of regulations on a compelling issue that it cares about: Making money. Beating the everliving fuck out of women & children? Not so much.