Are you fucking shitting me with this list? The fact that "Do Me Baby" and "Adore" isn't on the list makes this shit totally invalid.

Bryan Adams: [reads list]

EROTIC CITY??? HELLO!!

What? No 'Get Off'? No 'If I Was Your Girlfriend'? Do you actually like Prince?

It's as if one's geographic location can change, but one's skin color cannot. Crazy stuff, man.

Have you ever heard Darling Nikki?

"I wouldn't live there/if you paid me

I had no opinion on St Louis before the mayor's letter.

I never realized being from the Midwest was a race.

I KNOW! And it really sucks how I have no control of reading this website.

Mike Scioscial Security

Hard Candy van Slyke

B.J. I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-Upton

Neil Walker

Served with a defibrillator.

But if Charlie Bird means New York, New York is a room full of affluent white people listening to hip-hop, watching other affluent white people listen to hip-hop, congratulating themselves on being both tolerant and transgressive. If Charlie Bird means New York, New York is full of grumpy old farts with…

This is why the Cubs will never win another Pennant. Because they have no incentive to win. The fans come whether the Cubs win or not. Most of them probably aren't watching the game.

Okay, you caught me. I am also 12.

Fuck you. You know nothing about 11. Only those of us who grew up in the shadow of 11 truly understand the nuances of how it got to its present form. The world is ready: This November, Vote 11.

If one 1 is cool, two 1s are better.