Dear Mr. Perry,

a sociopathic golem whose mouth puckers like an anus

Yes. Thank you. Came to make this exact comment.

PAID.

Not too spicy.

The ranch dressing on the side somehow helps with the concept of this picture.

Like dress up day at Gawker Media.

I still couldn’t finish these, but even in satire they were a fuck ton more interesting.

How do I know you’re not typing this pro-Pokémon nonsense from the Rothschild mansion while sacrificing newborn children and drinking their blood?

If WBC keeps using Pokemon in their promotional material, would Nintendo have precedent to sue them for unauthorized use of their IP? Because that is a battle that I would love to watch go down.

Also Martha, there are clearly THREE eggs under that Booby. Use your special eyes!

SPORTS! (Also, that image is exaccctly what I was picturing.)

can we please stop this “waist training” bullshit and just call them corsets, which is what they fucking are?

JFC, even our crime is just sequels.

I’m with you. It’s not clear what the source of the problem is. Do people want to wear their workout clothes multiple times without washing them? Just wash them. Or do people wash them and they still stink? In which case I think you just bought the wrong clothes. My husband has a couple UA shirts he wears running and…

Me too. And I use a front load HE washer. I have some sports equipment that builds up stink with repeated use, but washing it solves that. I throw a little enzyme cleaner (the stuff made for pet messes; breaks down anything biological) when washing sports gear (pads and such) but clothes just get regular detergent.…

I work out in yoga pants or leggings and I then wash them. They never stink. I’m confused as to why there is a whole “thing” about avoinding stinky clothes.

Two fat-shamers fat-shaming each other? Ha! I love it. They can’t throw any other insults because they’re essentially the same awful person, minus dietary preferences. Super entertaining. Thanks for delivering, internet.

Poor Ellie. This is the second unfortunate-looking ginger to whom she’s been linked, and probably erroneously this time as well.