It’s convenient that Kendall and Harry get caught canoodling right when he has an album out and she’s had multiple tabloids saying she’s gay. I’m not a conspiracy theorist about celebrity relationships, but the timing here is interesting.

It is not surprising that John Mayer would go to a place called “The Nice Guy”.

We’ll all miss you (except for whatever asshole made this terrible decision).

“contact the author at...” ;)

Hey, he’s still a treasure! He’s just... getting treasured somewhere else.

You were hands down the easiest Jezebel writer to warm up to in years. I’ve missed you, and I hope you and Allen (‘poor Allen’ is my fav Jez meme ever) have the best life together ever.

Settling doesn’t imply guilt, but doesn’t imposing a gagging order about that settlement kind of imply guilt quite strongly?

She’ll tell herself that the system requires her to provide a vigorous defense. She will ignore the fact that many innocent clients go without a rigorous defense because they’re poor, and the same system tells itself that overworked public defenders are close enough.

I agree, but I tend to think of it more as a Doing Her Job side of the brain (instead of just $$$) and the human side of her brain.

It’s true that settling a case doesn’t mean you’re guilty. If you settle a case where you arguably caused a car accident, that doesn’t necessarily mean you really did cause the accident. However, if 50+ additional people also accuse you of hitting them with your car, that’s going to make me think that at the very…

Yeah, problem is Bill that Football does have rules about illegal touching and making a pass to an ineligible receiver.

Seriously, I bet this cat goes on all the fucking time about how she’s PRACTICALLY FAT by Hollywood standards, and how she’s SO REGULAR and she eats chee-tos and wipes her fingers on her designer fur, haha, just like you sad normals! Look at the cat falling over, OMG so relatable, not like those other cats with their…

Me too. I’ve been fat. I’ve been thin. I’ve been somewhere in the middle. Still me.

“Fat people don’t know they’re fat because the chemicals in their brain make them think they’re attractive. (Is this a peer-reviewed study, and can I see?)“ = hilarious, also. This whole piece is filled with an easy, quick wit. Is Jezebel hiring because I’d read the hell out of anything Hale writes!

Schrodinger’s Feminist

Hey Editorial, can we edit that “freelance” part out of her bio and get her a job around these parts?

Can I just say I really admire your maturity about this? Also,

The dead end was frustrating, because, as a fat feminist, I was hungry to find out who the original poster could be so I could then eat them.

As we all know, only feminazis!!!11!!1! gain weight (gasp!!!) after high school. What a bunch of predictable, derivative ass dicks.