Guacamole is gutter runoff compared to salsa, but fine. Pub cheese didn't win so it might as well be liquid eye boogers or whatever the hell guacamole is; I'm refusing to acknowledge this tourney like I'm a BBWAA voter and Buffalo Chicken had a big head for a couple years. Don't put canned chicken in it though, for…

If it can't be Pico, then Salsa will have to do. DIE, GUAC FILTH.

Words can not express the rage in my heart when she said this, trying to discredit the ACA:

Planned Parenthood delivered their own response to McMorris Rodgers:

I should first note that I really like shrimp. It's my go-to appetizer most of the time, and outside of a strip club buffet spread, it seems surprisingly hard to fuck up.

That having been said, I've never tried shrimp dip, and my initial reaction when I read those words juxtaposed against each other was "That sounds…

What is this beautiful substance? How has it not danced upon my tongue?

Country Western Barbie Yaga

It's not earl watson, darren collison, jordan farmar, or jrue holliday (all 6'3 or less) and I am assuming its not affalo as he is 6'5. Meaning it's either Matt Barnes 6'7, or more likely Ryan Hollins.

I know a guy who was recruited by UCLA starting in the seventh grade. To be fair, he was already 6 foot 8 at that point. He plays in the NBA now, but, by the way, knowing he was going to get a college scholarship wherever he wanted to go from that age made him a.) a complete jerk who routinely beat up kids smaller…

"Royals" is kind of annoying, actually, and as some people have pointed out, all the signifiers she uses to decry materialism happen to be examples of materialism associated with black people.

This is a terrible tragedy for sure, but should we really be focusing on one dead swimmer when the rest of the team is apparently made up of fucking ghosts?

Oh give it a goddamn rest. I said NOTHING about her age, considering I AM 40 FOR FUCKS SAKE. So shove it. Shove it with a broomstick from Katy Perry's performance. Making a joke about someone and how they are dressed/act who happens to be of a certain age DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE AGEIST. Goddammit. I make the same jokes…

Wait, why is sending cock shots not on this list? HAVE I BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG????

I think perhaps you have not spent enough time on the internet if you believe no one has mentioned a lack of POCs on Game of Thrones. Or any of the other things you mentioned. Because I have seen EVERY single thing you mentioned brought up on one site or another. I can assure you Girls is not the only show that is…

Also how every damn time you go to the site it pops up like "Do you hate it when people are mean to kittens? So do we! Subscribe to Upworthy's newsletter!"

It's the WOW factor they try to instill in every single article. Upworthy is great, but it's not "unbelievable", "incredible", "mind-blowing", or any of the other words they use to grab your attention. They try to make everything sound more than it actually is and often leaves you feeling unimpressed. I expect…

Jezebel is the realm where new radical feminists can be raging dicks to everyone, including their own, but claim complete innocence in their own oppressive behaviors. Feminists can treat people of minority as accessories to their cause and it's OK, but call out a feminist for being an absolute asshat and YOU'RE…

This.

"Don't you dare say anything remotely critical of how women treat gay men. In this comment section, we can only criticize how gay men treat women. Get out."

"Wow, they did it!"