“I once met a dude from Madrid. He was a big asshole. Fuck that city.”

I’m a Vikings fan and thus predisposed to hate Rodgers, but he seems like a relatively normal dude, as high-level professional athletes go. One of the really impressive things about him is his memory - I’ve read articles where he describes nondescript plays from high-school all-star games and play-by-play of his…

Let’s not lose sight of the fact of how the man made his money - hotels. Thank god I’ve never stayed in a Trump property.

Got caught by the cops buying beer at a place that didn’t card, then turned state’s evidence to clear my record. I basically fucked everyone.

Come on, you can’t do Mike’s Song without I Am Hydrogen and Weekapaug. (kills self)

Steppin’ Out is the jam, though.

Is that the Ironto road?

As someone who spent many a drunken evening in that exact house, Killian’s is several steps above what’s usually on offer.

Exactly. Between your example and Chicago “pizza,” there’s clearly no hope for Chicago cuisine.

When did Deadspin start putting their headline attributions in the correct order? Was the old, weird way Gawker style?

Can we incorporate football and get a Blake Bortles Corollary?

Even if you wrote about the Xhaka tackle without watching it, it’s amazing how much better the soccer coverage is on here without Haisley grinding axes all over the place.

That picture is from 9/12! Rudy was right about 9/11! Lamestream media!

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

Good lord, how does the entire commentariat of a website not understand exaggerated humor? You guys must be a lot of fun at parties.

Hey, there’s a lot of paperwork they have to do before it’s official.

Don’t forget that he’s a great golfer! He’s an athlete!

That's not going to be good for anyone.

I just drove through it!