Weird, those gloves fit just fine before being soaked in blood and drying.

The last time this team won a playoff game, the first person to interview the head coach & QB was a black-glove-wearing OJ Simpson.

That stadium is packed! Cobb county didn’t need parks and schools anyway.

Think of the headlines when Incognito eats a live human baby in the locker room during Hark Knocks filming!

No, Mike, you can’t. But you also don’t have to turn your locker room into goddamned Arkham, either.

Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

All of Sunnyvale is behind a muffler shop.

You’re confusing Santa Clara with Berlin.  

That would be my brother-in-law. Think a few states west.

It was 2012 and the Niners had just lost a heartbreaker to the Giants in the Super Bowl (Kyle Williams fumbled two punt returns...)

In his first 14 seasons the worst offense  Jerry Rice played on was ranked 8th in the NFL. Five times he was on the #1 ranked offense, and the rest of the tone they were ranked 3rd.

Mike Damone drinks to you.

I’ve done this before at a few Cubs games. Haven’t figured out how to post on Youtube yet so I think I’m safe.

I have had my illusions shattered many times in my life, and always believe that I have none left, until more are subsequently shattered by some other scandal or boondoggle or catastrophe.

I will immediately pledge lifelong loyalty to the first official team Twitter account that links their own WYTS article with the response "Tough but fair"

I feel obligated to point out in any article about the Cardinals just how fucking ridiculous the list of quarterbacks that Larry Fitzgerald has played with over the years is. Still, despite this he’s 2nd all time in yards, 3rd (will likely move up to 2nd this season) in receptions, and 6th in TDs. He’s nearly matched…

Okay, odds are I will never get married or have kids. But in the rare chance that I did both (. . . or either, I guess), I’ve always imagined that there would come a day when I had to explain what the heady zeitgeist of the Clinton and Bush eras felt like.

Feels strange to have the first of the series not be the Browns, whose annual display of ineptitude really set the mood for the rest of the season.  There could not be a more boring disaster of a franchise than the Cardinals.  Build a wall around Arizona