...even in LA, it was no good being Iranian, for nearly three years afterwards.

My understanding was that he called Mayock a cracker on Friday before the fines and that’s why he provided the emotional apology. Then the fines were announced.

The Conspiracy Theorist in me wants to believe that somehow, someway, the Pats and AB secretly orchestrated this whole thing from day 1. It’s Pepe Silvia all over again.

It wasn’t just about the helmet. There was a lot more to it than just a helmet. He called the GM a cracker. Even if they’d forgiven the fines, he was going to orchestrate his own ouster, one way or another.

That’s it. There’s your proof. There is no God.

I expect AB to have a full meltdown by Week 2, get Keyshawned by Gruden by Week 11, and get traded for a bag of Yukon gold potatoes by February.

This is pretty good, but Bo Jackson throwing out Harold Reynolds has got the be, hands-down, one of the best mever.

Actually, it’s Stephen Miller’s.

YOU GET A STAR!

Dear Jessica,

Is Verlander on the right?

They managed to successfully blackmail the United States federal government/IRS. That’s probably why they’re hesitant.

That guy.

Wait. Are we talking about the Falcons? Or the Patriots? Either way, it doesn’t matter, I suppose.

Not sure about the rest of the South, but North and South Carolina are full of Redskins fans because they were part of the Skins’ TV market back before the Panthers came into existence.

Stever DeBerg did actually play for the Falcons. He backed up Chris Chandler during the 1998 Super Bowl season. Even played a game or two.

Don’t know the guy’s name, but I’m pretty sure he was with the Falcons.

Ten years from now, you’ll watch the NFL Films recap of the Pats’ comeback in Super Bowl LI...

As a brown person I can say we have all been told at some point to “Go back where you came from” but there’s no fucking way I’m ever going back to Jacksonville.

That sounds like the title of a spin-off of ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.’