At least it’s not Trump (wearing a Hillary onesie or depicted on Hilton’s onesie).

How did they decide who got which tie!?! That's the worst part of it! (I'm sure the ties matching the shorts would still be hideous but perhaps sliiiiightly less so?)

I can totally see that — and also “you can afford to give more than $20,000!”

Maybe at mom or dad’s?

If she does the breaking up a marriage thing, I think she should go with Kanye or Kim.

Ryan Lochte?

There must be a good way of saying “wear orange, give green” that is hashtaggable and effective.

I feel like this “you might get zika if...” list is eventually going to be “you might get zika if you’re alive.”

“Calvin” was ring shopping for himself.

“Gawker media may get a commission.”

Ahem. People not “his age” still recall A Flock of Seagulls.

He'd have had an amazing Instagram.

At least his name isn’t Chris. (Also, I am kinda sad that I am almost remembering Amber Heard’s face because now it’s everywhere due to terrible reasons.)

That can still happen — and maybe with someone more interesting!

That made me laugh. That doesn’t sound like someone who thinks he’ll be in the running for Best Actor at the Oscars!

Now I never have to figure out or remember what he looks like!

Too horrifying. I hope that child has as good a life as possible. I don't want to imagine the custody battle.

I just stayed at an Airbnb and worried that the trash can liner was paper and I was throwing away some leftover salad and oh no it might seep through...

She can sell her plasma — still in the blood business.

Do today's 18 year olds know Kate Moss? Nothing against Kate, but people in their twenties are always asking me who everyone else I consider(ed) famous is. Including Prince!