He’s especially good at the following commands:

Is this administration just going out of their way to check off every one of the “domestic abuser” cliches?  “You made them get so angry they sent you bombs” is right up there with “its your fault I got so angry I hit you” defense.

I’m so old because I remember when his kid acted up during a press conference or swearing in? And then SNL had Chris Farley play him.

Coconut milk, also the most delicious of the milks.

At this point, what are the odds of Melania garroting him in bed. It has to be >0%, but it’s unfortunately less than 3%.

Ugly cry. I literally wept through I am Big Bird. Oh god.

Agreed. I just read an article about an experimental treatment that reversed brain damage on a (white) 2 year old who fell into a pool while her mother was in the shower. She almost died from drowning, but I didn’t see anything about her being taken away from her parents (not that I necessarily think she should have…

It’s to remind yourself why you don’t want kids.

Don’t laugh. As an American, this is humiliating. Every childish, bully thing he does is a reflection on us, as a people. The outside world doesn’t see Americans as this split thing of people who voted for Trump and those who didn’t. They see us as one nation who elected this asshole (and there is no better term for…

I put this up on the fusion article about Koosh, but wanted to post it to the Slot as well, because this is my favorite site on the internet.

Does anyone else irrationally hate the word “hubby” to a disconcerting degree?

I posted this is in the initial AHCA post, but there were 600+ comments so I’m sure it got lost. I just wanted to share my experience today in DC because it was so utterly sickening:

Often the little things scare me the most. The changes in acceptable behavior, the lowering of expectations. Our imprisonment in this system will be built upon not one sweeping change, but changes to several laws, some of them seemingly concerning smaller issues or things that don’t usually concern you or me.

I am seriously starting to think about preparing to leave the country. It would be very, very difficult, and not what I want to do at this stage in my life, but I think it’s not a bad idea to at least have a plan. Things may get very bad very quickly, and we may not be allowed to leave once the shit hits the fan. I…

share the verse where it says homosexuality is a sin.

And also, it’s LeviOOOsa, not LevioSAAA.

Love to collaborate sometime. My Little Mermaid Cthulhu piece is incredibly panty-moistening/boner-inducing.

I had a dream that I was placed in arranged marriage with Ted Cruz. I was running around freaking out about the impending sex but it all worked out because it turned out that he didn’t do sex and we could just lie if anyone asked.

To be fair, sometimes Japanese people order unfamiliar dishes, a bunch of plates and side dishes come (i.e., stuff needs to be mixed in or dipped) and they have to ask for a quick how-to—a "Do I put this in this?" kinda thing.