Tom, I don’t like you, big fan of deadspin and Magary, but you sir, can righteously fuck off. :(

Drew, had a job interview today at an engineering company where the boss was wearing the exact same shirt you wore on “Chopped”, with a popped collar, sunglasses indoors, a Bill Gates haircut, and khakis pulled up over his belly button. I don't think I'm gonna take the job. Thoughts?

You call him a joke, but he is waaaaaay more successful than you. You call Whitlock a joke, but he is more successful than you. I would say that you are an unsuccessful, self-sabotaging, hater. Go fuck yourself.

I don't care how they feel. They're whores.

Because he's poor and doesn't have much longer to live?

Blazers eat shit.

Just make OT a circle jerk. Whoever loses get the L and eats the cracker.

C’mon... Scissor and make up!

It’s unanimous... We reject you, Bruce. You suck. You’re never gonna get to write for Deadspin again.

OJ Simpsons?

Tim, I reject you.

Albert is fat.