People still listen to sports talk radio?

But how will domestic violence be handled in 17776? Will there even be a punishment if the nanos protect anyone from injury?

I was this close to exposing that guy until you published this article.

Look, they said they had juiced balls. I went to talk to them, but we ended up talking about Russian orphans. That’s it. I swear.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and…

Pictured: Danny Ainge and his draft picks.

Less than an hour later Antoine Walker was seen frantically running around the surf in futile desperation.

Whoever wrote that headline

“’10% of NFL teams”? Why not just say ‘a handful’?”

I was hesitant to take this out of the greys, but damn, man, this take is scorching hot and just keeps getting hotter.

Look, James Dolan doesn’t have the best people skills and probably shares a good deal of blame for escalating this situation beyond what it deserved. That being said, he’s a fucking joke of an owner, his franchise is the punchline, he’s a Trump bootlicker, and he’s even worse as a musician.

Mostly, those people try and tell you what you’re job is.

+1 bottle of water snuck in via cargo pocket, because it’s just careless to spend $9 at the arena

Stick to sprots you morans

Why I am marching today (See you soon, NYC!):

Welp, Schilling’s got my vote! America needs a guy who sticks to his guns in the face of overwhelming evidence that he’s totally, dead-fucking wrong.

Oh shit, have I been transported to an alternate universe where everything is identical except Rick and Morty is called Rock and Morty?

This isn’t a story about a guy being a dick, but I was once in a Taco Bell when Mike Holmgren walked in, studied the menu intently for two solid minutes, and then walked back out never having said a word. It was over ten years ago but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what the heck his internal monologue must have…